Normally, I love airports. The excitement, the adventure, the possibilities! Airports have almost become a second home to me and its always exciting to see the differences between them. Addis Ababa is very different from Heathrow and Dubuque’s airport in Iowa is tiny compared to Galeão in Rio. The food, the music, the people, the clothing – airports are the first portal into an unknown and fascinating world. Even when I’ve been to the same airport several times, such as LAX (which I’m going to again this weekend), I’m always looking forward to seeing what new and memorable experiences I’ll have.
Until this past Sunday, this is all that airports have ever meant to me. When you are at an airport not to go on an adventure, but to drop someone off, not knowing if or when you’ll ever see them again… The airport changed. Dulles, my favorite of the three local airports in the DC area, which has become so familiar and welcoming a place for me in my years of travel suddenly felt distant and strange. Being there did not bring excitement or anticipation, but sadness, pain, and an overwhelming sense of loss.
It has been evident from my experience that it is always easier to be the one leaving than the one being left behind, no matter how hard it may be to be separated from those you care about. Most of the time, I’m the one doing the leaving. I’m so not used to being the one left behind…
Sometimes we can ask God why separation like this has to happen. We can question and wonder, get angry and frustrated. “It shouldn’t be like this”, we think, or “This isn’t fair.” I’m not going to lie, I’ve had these thoughts and others like them. But I’ve come to the conclusion that despite the pain of the moment, I can trust in the promise that God is working in our lives for our betterment, and not for our sorrow.
I wear a purity ring that has Jeremiah 29:11 engraved on it. It may seem like a cliche Bible verse, but after studying it in its context and understanding what is actually being said, I truly believe in the promise that God has for me. I may not always understand why things happen, but I can trust God to take care of my, and my family and friends’, needs. Besides, experiences like this will only help increase my desire for the heavenly home that the Lord is preparing for us. A home where there will be no more tears, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more night… and no more separation. I cannot wait until that day.
In the Dreamworks cartoon film, “Joseph: King of Dreams” there is a song with words that came to me while I was dealing with pain of separation and I’d like to share them here for anyone that might be dealing with a similar sort of trial.
You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go, the need to know why
I’ll take what answer You supply
Cause You know better than I.
Lord, you know better. I choose to trust you and to move forward in Your will. But I also strongly feel that despite not knowing, this is not the end. I refuse to say goodbye. Instead I say, bis später! See you later.
Until we meet again.
(Adapted from my recent Instagram post: @wanderingminstrelette)